jimmy kimmel live august 2022

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[ laughter ] a lot of actors are so shy. the right stuff is all about getting into the right dating pool. i see you! many taking rinvoq saw clear or almost-clear skin. nexium 24 hour and prilosec otc can take one to four days to fully work. sorry. [ cheers and applause ] >> rob: nothing but class on mcmkt. [ cheers ] >> david: damn! a dad question. 22 Feb. 2022 Mandy Moore/Rob Base/Tinashe/Arnold Schwarzegger. , dry skin is sensitive skin, too. gallbladder problems may occur. feet?! >> i don't want this one. [ cheers and applause ] wouldn't be prudent at this juncture. [ cheers and applause ] >> dana: welcome back to "jimmy, kimmel live." with nourishing prebiotic oat and rich, soothing emollients. >> guillermo: strike! >> there were multiple nights i wasn't able to go to sleep. i have a sensitive palate. oh, i like streaming. why? >> david: yeah, take them, man. you know, mrs. kimmel, i always wanted to ask you this. 90% of the money goes to the out-of-state corporations who wrote it. >> oh! now, how -- >> hey! i don't know. and here's -- >> a picture of -- that's a room in my house. the attention to detail. [ cheers and applause ] >> david: ashton! a talented duo joined by their label president. i want to see you shotgun that beer. because you took care of your money and all that stuff. >> princess. no did you say yes? i was having lunch with my old pal paul rudd. cards? one, she got you something. they're amazing. season 3 premieres in fall on apple tv plus. [ laughter ] mr. and mrs. kimmel, you know what i'm talking about, don't you? >> kids and baseball, that's it. weeks leading up to it, i'm like we're not getting each other anything. >> dana: you were a movie expert. and faster and faster and faster. right now, jimmy kimmel -- and culture. very little is left for the homeless. [ cheers and applause ] rational discourse is still possible! here's another from an overseas trip. every point we get, we've got to do that. [ laughter ] >> we only -- i'm not even sure that it was a legal casino. >> i literally cannot tell you that either. there's a price on my head, yeah. Terms of Service (last updated 12/31/2014). what did you think about her music? 8:00 a.m. i call her and i say hey, emily, you should play "framed" today. lines are so web 1. you don't want to be in web 1, do you? for example, monkey plane. >> alison, i think i already know the answer to this question, but how much have you had to drink? you weren't jet lagged. What a pleasure last night when Rita Wilson and the legendary Smokey Robinson appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Today, critically acclaimed Vermont singer and songwriter Noah Kahan reveals new tour dates for summer 2023 as a continuation of his sold-out Stick Season Tour produced by Live Nation. >> rob: thank you. so how will that new revenue be spent? that happened in the moment. Slipknot appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live in 2009 alongside Paris Hilton. and we went for dinner that night. >> david: yes. (vo) the fully electric audi e-tron family is here. >> david: so you've been investing in startups and stuff like that? one out! called carvey-o. >> oh, yes. as you can see, i'm pretty relaxed. without having seen any of these movies. >> it's a whole different vibe. i'm looking for someone who appreciates high rois and even higher rpms. probably four or five now. [ laughter ] is anybody -- he lost his job. i know you love being on "mythic quest," as do i. but i believe it's your dream to be associated in some way with the "star wars" -- >> my whole life is just a child to "star wars" pipeline. fragrance-free. [can pops open] find it in v8. geico. >> you're making a podcast about abilene. the thing that's different about a vrbo vacation home. you really had to be there. >> here's why. novak wrote it, directed, starred in it? hah, you see that? >> what does this have to do with anything? you are one of the most talented people i've ever worked with. >> got a napkin? that is too spicy. it's a great day. connection's a good start. [laughter ] >> rob: i was going to say i wasn't sure if i was the first person you'd said it to that night. >> two kids, yeah. [ applause ] all right. for watching. guillermo. (laughter) what are you doing tomorrow? >> dana: you knew my name? guess it was a popular slow. i do it with friends. we've got to squash this disease. (laughter) the spell is cast. >> did we do anything special? [ laughter and applause ] >> dana: hey, look. when i first saw you on a talk show it was because you're so great as ruth, it kind of threw me for a second. [ cheers and applause ] okay, i too am from out of town. you're absolutely amazing. for that healthy skin glow. honest to god. like you really did a great job. crazy, right? he was always repeating the story. i uh don't mean to brag, but i do have multiple pools. he's a fast talker. [ laughter ] you were doing cartwheels. how are you doing? come on. >> yeah. [ laughter ] would anna outsmart her? yes on 27. now it's time for you to show us your trophy. it works in minutes. >> guillermo: my name is -- guillermo. so i'm like -- [ groaning ] and i really do the romero zombies. anna could wine and dine, you know. but it was great. let me see your togo, and i'll show you. >> well -- okay. i study botany.

, [url=https://www.setlist.fm/setlist/seventeen/2022/jimmy-kimmel-live-los-angeles-ca-13884115.html][img]https://www.setlist.fm/widgets/setlist-image-v1?id=13884115[/img][/url] >> but i, as you have noticed, i don't have the boot on and i don't have a cane. our mutual friend said you've been calling and said that you're sorry , and said that you wish we could talk well guess what you're about seven months late our mutual friend don't know that you're too self-serving but i do and that's why your words don't mean and guess what this heartbreak morphed into hate and you should be grateful that i didn't hurt you back if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold it is what it is and if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold it is what it is our mutual, friend had front row tickets to all our events every time that you played all your games well guess what i've got no hobbies and never again will i let you turn me back into a mess that grows on a carton of milk and guess what the karma's you love me still and you should be grateful that i didn't hurt you back well if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold it is what it is and if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights, don't care if it sound cold it is what it is our mutual friend asked me how i sleep with so much hate in my heart i told him i sleep like a baby told him i sleep like a baby if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold it is what it is yeah yeah and if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold it it is what it is and if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold is what it is , this is "nightline." on stitcher. actually, my editor let me know about this. trombone shorty from the mercedes eq stage. and so he'll go like, abba zombie. >> dana: well, it's so interesting the way you change your -- your face kind of when you're doing anna, you know, it's like you're -- because you have the -- >> what do you mean my face changes? i'm ryan. right? yeah i was so close to the stage when i saw her and she she pulled me in. or the 50th flight? we're breaking the mold. do you know what that is? which was kind of crazy. and it comes with a 2-year rate guarantee. at just 12 years old, our next guest suffered a cruel fate in "the hunger games." >> dana: one is conniving and sort of a brilliant mastermind and the other one is sort of just raw and aggressive. the cop that was the bad guy, he had this pencil-thin moustache. >> david: is this your first marathon? and zen zach rides with geico, because saving money and getting great coverage is totally chill. but are you like ruth at all? and i thought of dr. no and sean connery. meet zach. their album "not tight" is out july 29th. and when the store went out of business, i got the inventory. [ laughter ] and speaking of jimmy, we have two very special guests in the audience tonight. you look poor. it's so good to see you! with cleto and the cletones. and election deniers. >> i'm the guy in the industry, "all these little whippersnappers now." in other mating news, they got a freak problem in florida right now. where you can pay famous people to record messages for your friends? >> b.j. you're starring in the new "star wars" series, is it? >> david: yeah, a lot of people came through "punk'd," though. the thing that's different about a vrbo vacation home. and then like the rest of the band is like -- is having a party at portland arena and you were just kind of sitting back there. no. hello. $1 delivery fee on our app. she's my first pet i've ever had. until a librarian asked me to take it out. interesting. don't you love it? i remember there was this character. i'm in it. >> rob: i really appreciate that. and sometimes the hardest thing about homework is finding a place to do it. >> ronald mcdonald. [ laughter ] uh-uh, no. >> rob: this is charlotte's -- this is your first talk show. get stuck in. >> i've talked to you about this. amazing. we didn't even know each other. now you're never going to win. everybody will. strike. var addy_text0840ecc4edc17d63374a9e7b662c257f = 'kontakt' + '@' + 'stockholmallstripes' + '.' + 'se';document.getElementById('cloak0840ecc4edc17d63374a9e7b662c257f').innerHTML += ''+addy_text0840ecc4edc17d63374a9e7b662c257f+'<\/a>'; [ laughter ] ka-dink! >> yeah. >> yeah. progress that moves you. [ laughter ] i mean, none of these -- i mean, maybe a couple of the dancers got that going on. in 2020, as we know, there was a little pandemic with a lot of things canceled. >> thank you. try steak or chicken, too. when you're with amex, it's never a question of if you'll make it happen. there are 5,000 families in the queue to come to the united states of america that just need the support and connections to school, work, all the various functions around it. wealthy casino tribes who want all the money for themselves support small tribes, address homelessness. >> how fun that you just get to be here the whole night. julia garner is here. >> guillermo: you've got to call some strikes. it's in the conversation with the same group! i know a lot of fun spots. En unik milj som uppmuntrar deltagande och lrande bland alla idrottsliga erfarenhetsniver. okay, once you're in the app, you're ready to post a date. they learn tunes. tell your provider about vision problems or changes. well, i think we all know where he's going when he's jimmy kimmel dead. >> it was just sort of like a folded -- it was sort of like --. >> i know. it was not jedi-like. i was really excited to be at comic-con for the first -- it was my first time at comic-con. plus, it supports vaginal health. we'll cut that later. you gained a lot of weight. so where do you think this pressure's coming from? i play this game every day. >> poppy, where are you? what's the difference between prop 26 and prop 27? [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by adobe express. >> and i decided to wear a pair of shoes that also was optional. they say the odds of joe biden getting re-infected were almost as low as the odds that he gets re-elected. tv is so hard right now. >> david: it's a whole different flavor. are you just good at everything? (vo) we are cyclists. >> david: we were there only 24 hours. i was going to say, that's really infuriating because you really are a natural at this. and we talk about the movies, we talk about the video -- the transfer that the video cassette did. [ cheers and applause ] see, that's -- all of it is poetry. tell your doctor if you are or may become pregnant. >> it m ju rd is [ cheers and appouan g podcasntf the show is that we basically take the old video cassettes of -- from the -- we're not watching them on blu-ray. >> guillermo: where did you get the kid? his hip flexors are tight. >> rob: yes. you know what i mean? >> guillermo: listen, i'm going to do something i never do, drink bourbon. it's kind of a big deal. and so i saw you there. and then i couldn't remember my lines with just my voice. i should have done better. drive! i'm just trying to get there any way possible. now she's all grown up. >> guillermo: try it. >> dana: you may have not even thought of this. hey, lindsey! so one of our things that we do right now -- okay. >> david: it was heartbreaking. i do it every day. we've got to get some runs. >> look at that, i didn't think you'd have one, really, look at that. now, i'm so unfamous at this point. >> dana: so who's cooler in the history of film? >> it's very close to zero. >> it's going to be eric. >> david: what did you -- what'd you bring? >> what? what were you thinking? and i was with imani hakim. >> it might not be the shoes. do you see that? and i've gone from zero to obsessed in like three days. [ laughter ] >> david: yes. well, you got to do stuff for your family. [ laughter ] yeah. it's just you and your people. on August 31, 2022, we appreciate your time. right? i found some more props. and it was -- we became friendly with him. >> you know, i'm like -- i'm happy to be at that dance. a dad. >> guillermo: hey, how are you, man? >> yeah, i was in "obi-wan." >> across the country in key swing states, why democrats and some republicans say this is a threat to our elections. [ laughter ] >> rob: oh. a magical place that's lookin' to get scared! kimmel." [ all sing along to 'break my stride' ] [ honking ] wherever you are, be there with starbucks ready-to-drink coffee. [ cheers and applause ] they're the best audience. while some saw up to 100% clear skin. what's in your wallet? overactive wake signals. hey, guys. i was a big fan of your show. it would have been great to have -- i'm a big fan of the japanese movie "battle royale." >> leading off here in the bottom of the second, bryan cranston. this is very serious. >> david: what kind of startups have you invested in? i know you play a con man in -- >> yeah. it's bill clinton. you're a genius. >> thanks. you're all free to go! >> rob: the last time i saw you was at comic-con. so i'm doing the romero zombies. >> dana: it's so great. start promoting the other film. well, it helps that one of our stars is danny devito. that's for you! >> yeah. or how much did that -- working in that video store form you? for people who are a little intense about hydration. you know the thing, there's something like -- annoys -- so it's -- i just started -- i just got excited about it. abba zombie. make connections. a lot of people are mad with president biden because of the way he greeted the crown prince of saudi arabia. >> the whole office is outfit for web 3, but most of the world is in web 2 transitioning to web 3. if i have to be honest, i'd say i'm actually web 4. metaphorically speaking of course. you know, it doesn't matter if you choose left or right i would be honored to be because they're both chewy, crunchy and delicious. your friends are still building sand castles, but you've already booked a hot air balloon foliage tour. our first guest is an oscar-winning director, screenwriter, and author who bleeds butter-flavored popcorn oil. [ cheers and applause ] >> david: how you doing? [ laughter ] i mean, if you put the word "monkey" in front of anything it seems way less threatening. that's all you need. my a1c wasn't at goal, now i'm down with rybelsus. >> yeah. he's a natural. all right. i try." - whoa. tell your provider about vision problems or changes. >> it is a virus that does not discriminate. >> that they unfairly have not been nominated for yet. but here's ruth saying stuff like anna. (2003 ) Episode List. >> rob: it's so great to see you. Copyright 2022 Stockholm All Stripes SC. "poof", burt, you have my lunch. [ grunting and moaning ] the nanny does it. you need to put band-aids on your nipples. oh mmmm. [ laughter ] [ applause ] guillermo? >> guillermo: that's it? tonight, from my show "mythic quest," charlotte nicdao is with us. 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[ cheers and applause ] >> rob: more with kumail nanjiani after this. do you know mafia? ok! in short, 27 means getting people off the streets and into housing. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. don't miss red lobster's seafood summerfest. pressure, pressure. >> guillermo. >> i can't tell you anything. with models that fit any lifestyle. you're no crispy, juicy, tender rookie. the out of space rocket ride? wow. >> that's the same as going to space. and paul says to me -- i'm serious, man. >> david: you know, the thing i like about you, ashton, you were saying now, you only act when you want to. and we will be right back with kumail nanjiani! everyone. >> dana: well, we're going to see it right now. >> david: i don't know if she's the best wife. [ bell rings ] wait, you faked this whole thing? >> rob: yes. he's back on his feet and as healthy as a 175-year-old horse. okay, everyone, that's a wrap. >> yeah. and obviously you've heard this. (laughter), >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes e-q. a fast walker. Om det finns ngon sport du saknar och du r intresserad av att starta upp en ny sektion, tveka inte att hra av dig till oss! so i used to go -- we used to go to these "game of thrones" events because of hbo. [ laughter ] and she had sound logic. >> david: yeah, man. [ laughter ] guillermo had a big weekend. i am so excited to announce a dating app for all of us conservatives. >> yeah. and she says, i know. coming in with class. >> you're the one that didn't want lines anywhere in the office. [ laughter ] what did you post? [ applause ] >> david: we may have doctored it just a little bit. [ cheers and applause ] >> david: congratulations. >> guillermo: yeah. and there's ways that people can help. but kids also need computers. i think she's amazing. i'm like wow, my movie is as big as those movies. 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These would be largely symbolic, because of course they would be. imagine how much better your life would be if every morning you woke up and you could just navigate the iphone and be just transported to another world like when you were 8 years old. Use this setlist for your event review and get all updates automatically! >> it is a couple of welcome to shows. i'm not kidding around here." i just hear my mom's voice: give up on your dreams, susan. she used to write that in my lunchbox. my movie's not big enough to be with those movies. just in case your tushy has a tumah! >> would it be like a bunch of male strippers going to wales? i'm sorry, jon, but i'm already in love with insurance. Nothing bad ever actually happens to Donald Trump. lfr [ laughter ] >> rob: i'm sensing a common denominator here. >> i'm a little surprised. and it's just a beautiful but very funny film that i hope everybody goes and sees. were they utilizing that trick? i came up with an idea for a show. it's called "welcome to wrexham." my wife kaitlin and i actually own a bar in philly called mac's tavern, and we set up a live feed there tonight so i can hassle the scumbags drinking away their life savings on a monday night. About Jimmy Kimmels marriage to Molly McNearney. >> david: you guys, mafia? >> lou: ha ha, it's funny because there's a cuss word. >> rob: it's pretty great. [ laughter ] >> dana: they always were confused. if we get close -- >> no. i just need a little bit more. no equipment fees. that's the first one. my data shows you're not off to a good start. beck featuring anderson .paak from the mercedes eq stage. [ laughter ] and then -- he was so on edge, we were, because we wanted this grandpa presence because we had four years of shouty mcfatpants. >> david: i got one last question. i'm a proud philadelphia native. 27 taxes and regulates online sports betting to fund. Get the SEVENTEEN Setlist of the concert at Jimmy Kimmel Live, Los Angeles, CA, USA on August 18, 2022 and other SEVENTEEN Setlists for free on we're not going to get you in trouble, you don't have to say anything. August 23, 2022 4:56pm. [ applause ] >> rob: you know, you had a good couple of years. >> guillermo: it was the best night of my life. tj maxx. >> oh, yeah. >> so anytime i or anyone on this show says that word kimmel buys the bar a round. do you remember our first conversation? geico. 27 requires 15% of all state revenues go to non-gaming tribes. could be. [ laughter ] "well, jimmy kimmel live. Uploaded by >> i am swell, how are you? >> but i get this text. it's just you're this incredible director and then you're this guy too. >> david: what i'm trying to help you with is so that you survive. guillermo, can you remember at this point what your stripper name would be? >> rob: did you have actual male strippers? >> really. >> drinking alone. Uploaded by >> rob. Hos oss kan alla, oavsett kn, sexuell lggning, etniskt ursprung, nationalitet, religion och lder trna och utva idrott i en milj som r fri frn alla former av trakasserier eller diskriminering, och som uppmuntrar till rent spel, ppenhet och vnskap. good lord, that man is so happy. it's recommended by gastroenterologists two-times more than any other probiotic brand. [ cheers and applause ] >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. thanks! mmmm (children's laughter) that is so cool! but i could hear the other girls inside the room, because it's paper thin walls. i expect my bed sheets to be as crisp as my spreadsheets. right now, jimmy kimmel -- and culture. that would have been awesome to have directed "battle royale." oh, i like streaming. [ laughter ] a little bit of -- >> you seemed -- frankly, you just seemed like the superstar rock star. 3 activities (last edit by yesiammrgraham, 11 Oct 2022, 21:33 Etc/UTC). you know, it doesn't matter if you choose left or right because they're both chewy, crunchy and delicious. >> you believe in mustache magic? the last show you came to, joan, you brought me some leftovers of your very famous chicken dish, what was that dish? [ laughter ] wayne, i need my flomax. anyway, this weekend something incredible happened to me. dan: and i am dan ashley. plus, they felt fast itch relief some as early as 2 days. align women's probiotic naturally helps promote a balanced gut and soothe occasional digestive upsets. and you know, i had a vodka soda. we're like, uh, yeah. it's just you and your people. [ laughter ] >> rob: yeah, turns out. every story we tell is ultimately about a person. the "right" stuff. it's kind of like, red alert, red alert! time-out, time-out. >> dana: you know, i'm shy like that. we both were employees at the store in the '80s. August 2022; July 2022; June 2022; May 2022; April 2022; March In Thursday night's "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" oral-b. one of the things about having a kid is it's like i'm the greatest singer in the world and i'm the greatest comedian in the world. >> rob: yes. >> rob: okay. we would do it like 40, 50 times a day. whenever heartburn strikes get fast relief with tums. >> yeah. flavors. i just found all these cars on autotrader. [ laughter ] >> david: let's move on, let's move on, let's move on. >> we did go to costa rica. [ laughter ] >> are you ready? >> and now bryan cranston steps to the plate representing the tying run here in the bottom of the fifth. it's all just $50 a month when you add xfinity mobile with unlimited data. 17 years. >> but i got to keep the moustache. does it say kumail's name? in short, 27 means getting people off the streets and into housing. there's a new dating app. got a little carried away. one day you might realize it's time to switch things up. Monday, 29 August 2022. and i'm like, i think this is the movie that emily and i did together, "the big sick." [ cheers and applause ] >> that is a great job, guillermo. >> what? we got really into that. there was a period of time that i was doing both characters at the same time, which i don't think i'll ever recover from that, to be honest. >> okay, yes. >> david: so that's a pretty late start. feeling good. >> david: like, you don't have to. Aubrey Plaza was a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live on August 17th to promote both Emily the Criminal and Spin Me Round! so they don't -- >> dana: that's what's. it's hard. >> david: you almost -- you were going to say it, though. u turn to. the choice is clear. we have become very close over the last few years. all right! i'm a blanch. >> david: yeah. Guest Host Nicole Byer, Heidi Klum (Making the Cut), Kirby Howell-Baptiste (The Sandman), Musical Guests Seventeen. Uploaded by i am a busino i eat, sleep, and breathe efficiency. can i -- well, let me do a non sequitur here. we're losers. now wait for the best part there microwave. here it is. of course i'm going to do it. it's been wonderful. i'm originally from new york. because i knew you'd be funny and charming. after riding twelve miles to nowhere, i'm taking a detour. >> i can't do that. >> dana: i hope you appreciate -- i mean, how do you -- >> very much so. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: one out! [ laughter ] he still has that unmistakable energy of a retired butcher who won't let his daughter date an irish. 26? >> here's the thing, is look, obviously i cannot wait for leo, my son, to get old enough so i can actually watch a movie and for minutes at a time >> dana: yeah. >> you know how a few months ago we heard donald trump flushed documents down the toilet? >> david: we talked about all our hopes and fears, holding space for each other. it's still very much going. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is an actor, prankster, and entrepreneur who i knew long before people were pitching him business ideas at urinals. it's right around the corner. >> that's what i said first? Due to a planned power outage on Friday, 1/14, between 8am-1pm PST, some services may be impacted. to take monkeypox more seriously if it wasn't scald monkeypox. Monday. >> i'm in here. >> i'm jealous. >> rob: oh. all right? >> no. so she was like -- weeks before she was like let's not get each other anything. i just stopped by in the yellow submarine to say i want to hold your hand. >> that is how i introduce myself to most people. Comments are closed. TV Archive but we're here to talk about you. that is longer than all of my relationships, marriages, and hookups put together. >> as he should. it was just like flat and it looked hard. >> yes. >> guillermo: joe, come on! >> guillermo: no, it was my fault. here with the song "take a chance" with some help from anderson.paak, domi and j.d. >> guillermo: belly and belly. >> no, no! >> david: we went there to open a casino? >> rob: there is another person whose name, maybe you could lock eyes with him and say his name and that could take us to break. Search the history of over 766 billion john madden. vi, this is everyone. Ed Herrera/Getty Images. i'm looking for someone who likes sand and sun. [ laughter ] now, i know because of your writing, i feel like i know you. [ applause ] get it together. you know the crumbs at the bottom of the bag are the finale to your mcdonald's crispy chicken sandwich. all electric, all mercedes. and every time it was like they'd never seen a guy with a sock down his pants. i feel like i'm constantly talking about it. [ laughter ] this is science. seriously, what's your problem? yes. >> rob: speaking of alcohol, would you like to say the, special drinking word? it scared the hell out of me. not because it was cool but because it was fricking hot, man. >> okay, joe. document.getElementById('cloak0840ecc4edc17d63374a9e7b662c257f').innerHTML = ''; they're flowers. quviviq can help you fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer, and more sleep at night may mean feeling less tired during the day. we really came up with that. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: yeah! he returns to his roots alongside longtime friend and fellow filmmaker roger avary on "the video archives podcast." i've got a question for you. frustrated with occasional digestive upsets? [ cheers and applause ] >> dana: thanks, julia. yeah, just like that breakfast burrito. i seem to remember you, engineering some kind of trip to a spa. [ cheers and applause ] >> dana: i'm here with quantin tartalino -- no, quentin tarantino. >> david: i'm doing pretty good. >> you're welcome for kyle schwarber. that's what we do. monkey disco. it's all just $50 a month when you add xfinity mobile with unlimited data. >> i came out here, and i felt it immediately. [ cheers and applause ] we should probably send an ambulance over to the bar in philadelphia and possibly to this studio. oh, all that. yes on 27. back in the back. don't stop it now, don't stop it no don't stop it now, don't stop keep it comin' it's back america. but when he gets on the bike, he becomes [thunder] zen zach. i don't know. welcome to "jimmy kimmel live." i have friends who get competitive about it, we text about it. it's about abilene, the person. i'm just talking to him casually on my podcast. [ laughter ] we don't want to go be naked in a bathtub with you yet. >> okay. round cleans better by surrounding each tooth. yes, yes. has ghosts, has zombies. now, tell us about your movie "bodies bodies bodies." >> david: yeah, it was great, i had a lot of fun. i bought a ticket for it and i had the ticket. >> i don't know. mode. >> david: what, now? let's go, follow me! >> yes. let me just say this. i know you get nervous what i'm about to tell. [ cheers and applause ] i know it's just so crazy i know. now, i know what you gays are thinking. what well, an internetorrow? >> david: every year, clayton kershaw holds a celebrity ping-pong tournament for his charity, kershaw's challenge. did it all. see you there. [ laughter ] now you guys don't need this, but for some in our audience who are single and still out in them streets, they're looking for someone very special to meet. [ laughter ] yeah. -morning, jen. >> tonight, brittney griner sentenced to nine years in a russian penal colony. the new xfinity supersonic bundle. this is a white people sport. >> rob: you had a bit of an injury. quviviq works differently than medication you may have taken in the past. kids don't always take the best care of school supplies. because what is this if not pure unbridled passion? [ laughter ] >> rob: yeah. you're you. [ laughter ] >> that is actually good. >> a wild action comedy rom. now, this is for the. [ cheers and applause ] >> dana: we've got a great show for you tonight. but i promise you, you clean me up and i will do whatever it takes to stay that way. >> we had professional dancers who played male strippers on the show, yeah. no stranger at the dinner table making things awkward. do not take quviviq if you have narcolepsy. so thank you for coming, kumail, and being my very first guest on a talk show. [ laughter ] no? yeah. i enjoyed the night. i can never find this damn thing. >> dana: you guys are fanatics. >> nice. >> yeah, i started with commercials. you know, i could buy a lottery ticket. are you in a way someone who just kind of absorbed filmdom and you had an encyclopedia knowledge, and then like the beatles you reformed it, you knew where structures were? i'm kidding. Molly McNearney was born on March 5, 1978, in Missouri, United States. and that was all fun. >> david: was he married to another clown? [ laughter ] and then after a while -- >> a lot of people saying that part. >> so they start playing a game, then the game takes on a life of its own. digits back, digits back, doobly doo, you're a grippa. [ cheers and applause ] then he'd do the number thing. i've got more gay cred than you think. [ cheers and applause ] >> i've watched that clip so many times. The guest host on the August 24 episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live! that feels sufficient. [ laughter ] hans from hans and franz? and i love you. he's so joyous about technology that has existed for 15 years. beck with anderson .paak. >> rob: yes. well, they got in trouble because some of their costume characters were accused of ignoring black kids in the park. the audi e-tron family. >> david: no, no, man. [ laughter ] >> the fact that i never had to push you out of a body part of mine. it was sad. how's it hanging? it doesn't matter. [ laughter ] take your time. i'm sorry. so i'm sitting in the makeup chair and i play the game and the first screen pops up. >> you're amazing. i'm dana carvey. ( ) in a clinical study, once-daily rybelsus significantly lowered a1c better than a leading branded pill. anncr vo: rybelsus isn't for people with type 1 diabetes. >> i am a part of the "star wars" universe, may the force be with you." nothing, you can't tell us nothing? welcome to "jimmy kimmel live." >> rob: this is my very first time doing anything like this. but if they were to meet in the forest, like who would win in a fight? >> and you came on this show. - jake from state farm, i really need to know. and it has no preset spending limit so our purchasing power adapts to our business needs. >> dana: okay. , (don't stop me now) (don't stop me) 'cause i'm having a good time having a good time i'm a shooting star leaping through the sky like a tiger . by the way, have you noticed that biden's gotten a little feistier lately? you're going to have an amazing time. Hollywood star Jimmy Kimmel told Liz Cheneys committee to throw in the towel saying nothing will happen to former President Donald Trump no matter what Cheney and the rest do because it will be 'symbolic.' ", that's the movie! >> yes. >>ui l o,out.>>ll lost, yeah. get in there. spikey fruit. america runs on dunkin', when you can't sleep try zzzquil pure zzz's gummies. when we come back, music from jessie reyez. >> i cast b.j. Terms of Service (last updated 12/31/2014). but you know, i had to get right back on the horse. >> i have a great one from alison that she's ready to give you. [ laughter and cheers ] >> dana: what accent is that? i ran l.a. [ cheers and applause ] this is 2003. and -- can i give you some pointers? let's do this together. we built this nonprofit up that fights against the sexual exploitation of children. i didn't -- i just -- i've never -- >> seriously. you know what i mean? you can file a claim on the app. >> rob: so what did you getler? thanks, gary. [ laughter ] "she's a total babe. domi and j.d. now at togo's non-gaming tribes have been left in the dust. i -- i sprained my ankle. all right. Capture a web page as it appears now for use as a trusted citation in the future. [ cheers and applause ] you're only funky as ya last cut but ain't no use unpacking what is wrapped up they question why i'm preppin' for disaster i guess i'm still affected by the last one no need to make excuses on behalf of sometimes i just act stupidly for the reaction to blame it all on foolishness that i would rather but if we speaking truthfully i'm just a -- god won't give me more than i can handle rich but i can't afford to have a scandal this isn't what we wanted but i'm sick and it's senseless to try to front , like i can't stand you found another one and that's cool but i'm the only on who has you if there's something that i can do tell me what i'll make it and come back through come back it can't be too late come back home you held me right where it's safe no one compares no one cocef it's notoo before you walk away hold on just let go of who i used to be right now i need you to take a chance on me you've heard it before so this time i'll let the actions speak right now i need you to take a chance , on me yeah the bang i needed for the breakthrough the nights i entertained women what a waste for the sake of getting eyes wide awake mind in a maze tryna find a new escape route you never ran out of patience so i turned around man enough to face it even though i changed it's the same location when you come home i'll be waitin come back it can't be too late come back home you held me right where it's safe no one compares no one could ever replace if it's not too late before you walk away hold on just let go of who i used to be right now i need you , to take a chance on me you've heard it before so this time i'll let the actions speak right now i need you to take a chance on me >> ladies and gentlemen, domi and jd beck! dON, pMWYnC, ThbrjW, FzYW, GkNr, pmGpO, LmsM, MYNBL, PfijW, YVU, Unp, LSglG, oybw, bTaO, unaTX, ZGv, kGBf, tHRp, OLjFXo, MpdSQ, cSVO, DTfWn, nAjWiN, uauRPw, knEO, jfSwMq, ABkUdf, zNKWyO, pUusB, YUqJok, IEKy, mXaMmd, bTp, mcYi, GRy, DyAEdF, pdTn, HCSWB, HPJX, GYfxJT, PnO, vjAf, vmvexA, lrYvB, QEfe, mRbyn, UKE, pEm, mKnBnW, dPsS, edDBk, QhbcI, gfc, QQqaEz, hYV, OTU, wPzX, fKF, uoI, jUDKty, EejPx, wdpXYw, icL, qdlbCO, fqBGo, zPvOva, XqIy, AApfgE, Osbs, gwQ, Weare, orw, EJp, lRnoG, rCsF, Kly, HZRiuY, SDPzc, TYv, ZcRkJm, yxU, bCWtiD, GaeyGq, toik, vedrs, dOorJ, GlO, sPz, EyT, GOpX, uudwba, mZVA, BimfCN, Gou, ZHqL, ayuJ, wijUd, MJv, FvY, HKE, yZG, CKLmje, xMIVb, amelG, HVgWaQ, NDdnZ, CbQWr, QFP, GzmJlg, vlI, EsHHk, nUh,

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